Saturday, April 3, 2010

Heartbroken 25 wks 2 days

Today I received news that another Nestie has lost her baby. This only a week after the other. It is totally devastating to hear that these women who have tried so hard to get pg to begin with have now lost their sweet little girls. It seems so unfair, haven't they gone through enough already? I can't even begin to imagine the heartbreak they are feeling right now, I wish there I was something I could do or say but I know nothing but time will heal their hearts.

On a more selfish note I have decided to take a break from the message boards for awhile. My anxiety level is already sky high and hearing this devastating news is just adding to my anxiety. I am so terrified that something will happen to my little man. I have trouble sleeping at night because I worry that something might happen while I am sleeping. I over analyze his every move. If he is lazy and not moving I worry, if he moves to much I worry why is he moving so much? I still use my doppler nightly to make sure his heartbeat is strong. I worry about every lil pain I feel in my lower abdoman. I was so looking forward to V-day, viability day, 26 weeks but after hearing that Lindsay lost her baby today at 28 weeks I feel like I will never be able to take a deep breathe. I know it is not good to stress this much but as much as I try to have faith this little guy is safe and strong I still find myself having mini panick attacks. These next 15 weeks can't go fast enough!

My thoughts and prayers go out to Nina, Lindsey and their families. They are strong women who don't deserve this pain. I know they will find the strength to get through this difficult time and hold their babies one day with their little girls looking down watching over them.

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