A glipse at the future

I have always wanted to go to a psychic, but I have been afraid of what they might tell me. I recently heard of Ruby through the message boards. It is said that she has a great success rate and has predicted a lot of pg's on the boards. So I figured just for fun what the hell. $30.00 later this is what I got.....

My thoughts are in bold....

I see a conceive or find out with a bfp or give birth in Oct. So
either conceive or find out with a bfp in Oct of this year or give
birth in Oct of next year. I see a girl. I will be doing my FET in Nov, but we already know that the embryo is male. So either she is wrong with the sex, or this is not our cycle.

1st thing when I did your reading I heard your guides, your future
baby, and my guides say to PLEASE BE OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES and EVEN IF YOU HAVE A WISH YOU NEED TO BE PROACTIVE WITH GETTING THAT WISH, DON'T LET SOMEONE ELSE TELL YOU HOW YOU WILL GET TO YOUR WISH. I have been open to other "possibilities" such as sperm donor, egg donor, embryo donation...my DH on the other hand took much longer to get there and still isn't 100% aboard.

I then saw an image of your daughter blowing baby dust your way and telling you to be open to catch it.

I also saw images of a lot of maze like looking things in my reading. You know how sometimes Cider mills have those mazes you can go in and try to find your way out? I saw 5 of these and then I saw a man sitting at the last maze, the 5th one holding out a big giant golden star to you.

I also then saw an image of a woman who looks VERY fertile, but not happy. I feel she has been messed around by doctors too much because I see her holding herself her arms wrapped around her for protection and then holding up her hands against the doctors kind of like I have had enough. When I hear these messages and see these images what I am being told to tell you from all this is that I feel strongly you have been given many options on how to proceed next with getting pregnant or I feel you have ALREADY gone through alot of options. The 5th and final one is the one that is going to get you pregnant. The golden star so to speak. We have been through a lot and I have had enough. I want very much to be done with all the procedures, meds and the emotional roller coaster. Now I might be reading to much into this, but since I have already had 5 losses, I believe the 5 stands for the types of procedures we have tried. IUI's, IVF, FET, IVF w/PGD, our next step would be embryo donataion. Is it possible I get pg in Jan, using embryo donation delivering a baby girl in oct?

I feel the 5th one is something you knew WOULD HAVE worked before any way if this makes sense, but either was pushed aside when brought up before or it hasn't been brought up yet but you know intuitively it will be the one that your daughter comes to you and where YOU will have control of the situation. Not someone else telling you how you will get pregnant. If you feel there is a way in your heart NOW that is an option now then please let the doctors know or whoever else you are working with andhave them listen. I hope this makes ;sense. If not please let me know I would be very happy to clarify. Embryo donation is something I have wanted to do 100 cycles ago, but again my DH was not fond of the idea.

I feel you are more fertile than you know and what needs to be done is way less than they are saying, but more potent and more effective if this makes sense. This also makes me wonder if I will not get pg through IF treatments and have to keep trying on our own.

Also I saw an image of a woman holding a big blue ball next to her and it looks to be on her right side, but I am not positive and it feels she has been carrying this around for a long time. It feels in her pelvis on the
side or in her ovary on the side. I usually see this image in my
reading when a woman has PCOS, a cyst, tubal blockage, and or
ovulation problems from at least one side. This shocked me since I have PCOS.

Again I see a girl.
When I connected with your girl I heard the names Hannah, Holly,
Hayley, and Harley. This could be someone you know, someone you will
meet, or your little girls name/s you give her or a combination of
what is listed above. None of these thoughts have ever been in a thought in our minds.

When I saw your girl I saw her being around the age of 5-7 in her past
life. I show that she loved wearing flowers in her hair all the time
but around her head, kind of like a wedding tiara. She had her hair
dorned all the time with pink carnations, lily's, and lilacs. She
always stayed centered, peaceful, and had a magical way about her with making what she wanted become a reality with very little ease and I
show that she was like this with others as well, being a big healer
for them. Also when you are pregnant with your girl I feel she will
heal whatever you have either ALL THE WAY or almost ALL THE WAY. PlusI feel she will do this emotionally with you as well when you are
pregnant. Say you are having a horrible day and just crying your eyes
out she will be able to pick that up believe it or not and have this
way of washing all the bad things away. I feel you will have a VERY
happy pregnancy just because of her vibe and a very easy going
pregnancy with the aches and pains and easy labor as well. I see her
being born in between the hours of 10am and 2pm and she will have the ROSIEST of cheeks you ever saw on a little one. I have no doubt she will take away all my emotional pain, I'm loving the easy pg and labor.

Also with your reading when I connected I felt all your children
around you if that is fine to ask and they wanted to connect with both
you and me and I was told if you haven't gotten it checked out yet to
make sure that your uterus is fine to hold a pregnancy. I know
obvsiouly you have losses, but they said something connected with your
uterus and it needing to be strengthen both with blood and the way the
muscles hold things. Just something feels out of place within the
uterus so to speak that is keeping things from staying in place. Like
it is not physically strong enough. Not sure if that makes sense. I was on heprin with a few of my cycles cause we thought I had a blood clotting issue, but that has since been thrown by the waste side. I have had a saline u/s, and laproscopy done to check out my ute but they found nothing. My question is how do i tell the dr's I want them to put me on heprin, or check the strength of my ute, cause a psychic told me??

I also heard the number 4 connected with your reading in some fashion.
I know it is to do with when you find out you are pregnant, when you
conceive, or when you give birth, but the number 4 will definatly be
connected with your little girl in one of those fashions. Does this contradict everything she said about oct doesnt it? Maybe the 4th of Oct?

best wishes! Ruby

“When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

After all these years, hearing the dreaded words, "I'm pregnant" is like getting punched in the gut every time. It never seems to matter how you hear them, whether through a text, a Face Book status, a phone call, through a friend, or through an email. The out come is always the same. They have what I want. The one thing I am working so hard for came so easily for them. Please don't get me wrong I would never wish IF on anyone, but do I have to resent everyone of my fertile friends because they can do the most natural thing in the world?

Saturday I received an email from a friend/co-worker telling me that she was pregnant. She did her research and talked to girls in IF message boards to find out just how she should tell me. I have responded to 100 of these posts over the years. The advice is always the same, send an email. It allows your friend the chance to grieve, to be upset, to cry, scream, punch something without you seeing her pain. There is nothing like getting punched in the gut and having to smile and say, "Congrats, I'm so happy for you!" It meant a lot that she took me into consideration and cared enough to do her homework. Did it hurt any less? Nope! And for the first time someone did it right, she did exactly what we always tell them to do, but it hurt all the same. Did it allow me time to be upset, without having to face her? Yes, I spent the weekend crying, getting myself prepared to face her today. As hard as it was to walk into work today I did it, I held my head high pushed the pain aside and made it through the day!

Throughout this wonderful journey of IF many people have told me how strong I am. How they could never do what I do, never go through what I have gone through. But until you have been faced with a challenge you just don't know how strong you are. When you want something so badly, somehow some way you find the strength. Some days I don't want to get out of bed, facing the world is just to much to handle, but every day that I get out of bed, get in the shower, and face the world I know I am strong. Today when I walked in that building and faced her, talked to her, I was strong. I surprise myself how strong I am everyday. If nothing else I have learned that I am strong that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger!

Long time, no blog!

I know it's been forever since I have blogged, but I don't have much to report. I have taken the summer off to regroup, to have time to myself, to enjoy my summer. It has been a much needed break away from IF, I can't say I missed it. I took a wonderful family vacation to FL, a weekend getaway with my girls to AZ, and just good quality time with myself and my Hubby.

September is here though, and it's time to get back to reality. We will be moving forward with our FET to transfer the last embryo we have left. After that we will be looking into embryo donation which I am really excited about. So you will be hearing more from me now. Hope everyone had a wonderful summer =)