Let the waiting and praying begin

I got the call at 10:30am that we were set for our ET and to be there at 1:30pm. I was so relieved to hear that it survived the thaw!

They took me in rather quickly, I was a lil concerned cause Dh hadn't gotten there yet and we are really big on if we cant do this the natural way we will atleast both be there when its transferred. I got in the back got dressed in the beautiful garb they give you and turned around to see my Dh standing there. PHEW! I started drinking, they suggest 4-5 glasses. I am not fond of water in the first place so I am super picky about how I drink it. The water was room temperture and out of a paper cup....yuck!!

I got my laser acupuncture, and then we sat and waited, and waited, and waited! Finally they moved us into the consult area and then we waited, and waited, and waited some more. The Dr. did finally come in, and to our surprise it was OUR Dr. Our Pratice is a very large practice and out Dr is kind of a big deal. He never does any monitoring, and you only see him when you go in for a consult. I was sooo happy that he would be doing the ET. He's calming, super nice, funny, and just over all a nice guy. He showed us the picture of our embryo and told us that morpholigcally it looked good. Whatever that means! He then lead us in the room and they preped me for the ET. They showed us the embryo up on the screen and it looked like it was splitting, something like this.....00. He said that was a good sign meant it was hatching, that it was a good stage 5, and that they rarely see stage 6's. Again I am not sure what all that means but it all sounds good!

As they were moving me back into my room the Dr said, I hope there isn't a next time but if there is your bladder doens't need to be that full. They then asked if I needed a bed pan. Now I would need to be very desperate to use a bed pan. But because I have a bladder of iron I still didnt really feel like I even had to go.

I got my second laser acupuncture, and then just got to realx and rest for 30 mins. They came in and gave me my instructions and dates, BETA 11/05! And then we were on our way!

I am feeling a little better now that our lil embie is snuggled in. I also have more hope as of now. I am terrified to get to hopeful, but who am I kidding either way I am going to be heartbroken if this doesnt work. So now we wait, pray, and try not to go crazy until next Thursday. Please let this be it for us!!

We have a date

The transfer is set for Tuesday October 27th. Don't ask me how I'm feeling cause I am trying not to think about it. Of course I want this, I want this bad! But after everything I have been through I just don't want to think about it yet. I am a lil concerned that it will be over before it even starts and the embryo won't survive the thaw. But all I can do now is try not stress, and let everything take its course. What will be will be right?

When the world says, "Give up" HOPE whispers, "Try one more time".

So here we are trying one more time! After taking the summer off to regroup, reconnect, and recover its now time to move forward with an FET to transfer our last embie. I am going into this cycle with a different perspective, I have been through this enough and gotten my heart broken enough to not get my hopes up. As awful as it may sound I am going into this just thinking we need to use the last embie so it doesn't just sit there, and we don't wonder "what if". But I have to be realistic. There is a chance that we may lose the embryo during the thaw, and that our chances are less since we will only be transfering one embryo, not to mention its not the greatest quality.
I am trying to stay positive, and focused on this cycle. Early morning blood draws and u/s's are killing me. I am just so tired of this whole process. I can remember a time when I would spring out of bed into the dark cold early morning driving the 45 mins - 1hr to get to the dr feeling hopeful and knowing this was going to be THE cycle. Now it is like a job dragging myself out of bed to drive down there to get pricked and probed for what? For a healthy baby we hope.

If everything goes as planned we will be doing the transfer on Nov 2nd. This of course happens to be the day that my co-worker is finding out the sex of her baby. I really hope this is the day of the transfer so I don't have to be there that week to deal with that!

Pregnancy & Infant loss Remembrance Day

Today is Pregnancy & Infant loss Remembrance day. Every year in the United States there are approximately 2 million women who experience pregnancy loss. I am one of these women, so please support this cause, by lighting a candle tonight at 7pm. Take a moment to think of the families that have been affected by these losses.

Lost but never forgotten, forever in my heart

12/05 * 7/06 * 12/06 * 4/07 * 10/08 *