Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Knowing is going to make this all a lot harder

I am so terrified that this won't work! Now that I know what they are it feels more real, they feel like real babies already. It is going to destroy me if I lose them, not that I wasn't destroyed with my other losses, but I never let myself wonder what sex they were. Damn it I wish we didn't know!! The last thing I needed was for this to be anymore real then it already is, I wanted to think of this as just a clinical process till we were out of the woods. haha I don't know what I was thinking, that would have been impossible too! If I lose this pg it is going to affect me in a way that none of my others did. I am already thinking of names, picturing the room, picking out matching outfits. Oh dear god! How am I going to get through the next 7 days?

Come on little ones stick! Hold on tight mommy wants to bring you both home!

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