There are no words. I am in shock, stunned! I really thought this was going to be it. I don't understand, but I'm not going to try to understand why. Why no matter how much money, blood, sweat, and tears we put into this, it's still not enough. Why don't we deserve this?? I feel like I just flushed 5 grand down the toilet. We are done, this was the end of the road for us, so now what?
I do not want to live anymore, the only thing I ever wanted out of my life was to have a child. If that dream is not going to be a reality then I have no reason to go on. IF has taken everything from me. It has changed the person I am, it has ruined my marriage, it has ruined friendships, it has put a strain on my work, and I have lost all faith in GOD. So really what do I have to keep me going???
We have a beautiful house, that we bought thinking we were going to start our family in it. It has big yard, and two big empty bedrooms. We bought more then we could afford to have this house for our family, we work paycheck to paycheck to make the bills each month. Now for what? I think its time to sell the house, at least then me and Dh can try to enjoy our lives, by going on vacations, buying things we want, going out for dinner.
We were not meant to have children of our own. Maybe there is a reason, I don't know, and I certainly don't care! This is unfair that millions of women have to go through this. This is a pain like no other.
1 comment:
I know how you are feeling. I am at the end of my rope too. But after a disappointment take a few days to reflect and then make a decision. After miscarriage #1 for me, I gave up too. I have put all my money into meds, shots, and dr. appointments as well. Know that you are not alone and you are not the only one who does not have a direction right now. I will pray for you.
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