Adoption

I have not allowed myself to seriously think about adoption until now because I honestly thought we would get pg at some point. Everyone likes to suggest adoption like it's an easy solution...I'll get into that in minute. But in the back of my head I knew that if we did not get pg we would adopt. I knew that one way or another we would be parents. Did I love the idea no! To be honest I hated the idea, and its going to take sometime for me to truly accept that this is where our road has lead us. I am sad that we will not have children that look like us, that I will not be able to feel a baby kick inside me, or breastfeed my child. But I also worry about whether I will be able to bond with a child that is not mine, will I resent them, will I always want a child of my own? I also worry about how adoption affects the child, I know it sounds like a happily ever after story, "we tried for many years to have a child of our own, but God lead us to you." Yeah right, I'm sorry I don't care what anybody says adopted children have abandonment issues, I worry that no matter how much we love that child and give them this great life they might not have otherwise had they will still always wonder who there birth parents are, who they look like, and why they weren't good enough.

I know I am not in the right place right now to seriously look into adoption, but I thought I would check out some websites and see what exactly is involved.

I wonder if the same people that suggest adoption know how much is involved.I thought IF was hard, well this is overwhelming and intense! It is not as simple as putting your name on a list and waiting for a baby to be born. There is finding the right agency, creating a profile, interviews, home studies, fingerprinting the list goes on and on. Then after you complete all of that you hope a birth mother chooses you, then you wait and hope that she doesn't change her mind and that it doesn't fall through. After all that I have been through with IF I don't know if I could handle going through all of that for it to fall through. I have been through enough heart break thank you very much!!

I also wonder if all the people that suggest adoption so casually to the infertiles know how much it costs. Between lawyers fees, applications fees, fingerprinting, having your profile printed, home study visits, birth mother expenses, etc etc etc, we're looking at something between $20,000-50,000!! IF has emptied our bank accounts, and well we didn't have that before we started IF treatments anyway. How in the hell do people do this???

So at this point I am questioning if adoption is even an option for us.