At some point when I wasn't looking, it snuck up on me. I woke up one day and there was staring me in the face, taunting me, asking what I have done with my life, asking if I had made the right choices. It caused me to question everything that meant anything to me. There it was as clear as day the big 3-0!! Yup, I turned 30 today. I'm not sure how this happened to me, last time I checked I was 25. Where oh where did the last 5yrs go? Well lets see, I got married, bought a house, adopted my beautiful furbaby, oh and yes have been fighting this beast called IF! I feel like IF has stolen the last 4yrs of my life. I have been standing still while the world continued on, people have continued on with their lives, have made things of themselves but not I have been standing right here, wishing, waiting, hoping.
When I was little there were a few things I wanted to be when I grew up, an interior decorator, the next Miss America, a teacher...this is just to name a few. But more then any of that I wanted to be a wife and mom. I always pictured this happily ever after, the loving husband, the beautiful house, the kids playing in the yard. I made that my top priority, so when I met my hubby I threw everything else out the window. I dropped out of college, and found the next best thing to teaching....daycare. I settled for a career making little money, while I threw myslef into my relationship. Before I knew it I was 30, married, living paycheck to paycheck to pay for the beautiful house, with a big empty yard where the children were suppose to be running around. I realized that I put all my eggs into one basket, I never had a back up plan. So now here I sit my dreams crushed, living with the mistakes I have made along the way. Please don't get me wrong if I had it to do over there isn't much I would change, I may have stayed in school and put a little more effort into my career. I know it's not to late, and I am looking into going back to school. It's time I start moving forward with my life. I'm tired of standing still, while everyone else moves forward. It's time to put plan B into motion!
