Is this to much to ask?

I'm trying to keep my faith and stay positive, but it is getting harder and harder.
I want to not hurt anymore, I want to feel our lil one inside me, I want to wonder if it will be a boy or girl, a Michaela or a Jack. I want to hold you, and see who's eyes you have. I want to tell you how badly mommy and daddy wanted you , how we would have gone to the end of the earth to get you. How mommy shed so many tears along the way, but in the end it was so worth it and she would do it all over to be holding you right now, loving you, looking into your big beautiful eyes, those lil fingers wrapped around mine. Watching you grow, crawl, walk, hearing you say mommy the for the first time, oh how I dream of your little voice calling out for me!
I want it to be my turn, I want to be a mother, I want to get out of this quick sand that is slowly pulling me deeper and deeper. I want put all this behind me knowing it was all worth it in the end. I have put my time in, I have cried endlessly, I have given myself the shots, I have rode the emotional roller coaster. I have Felt the excitement with each positive beta, I have felt the heart break with each m/c. I have felt the pain of each painful procedure, from d&c's to OHSS.
I want the excitement of being pg back. I remember our 1st pg we were so nieve, so excited, we told everyone, I surprised DH, we talked about how exciting the upcoming year was going to be. Then in 6 short weeks I was robbed of that!
I want to be the couple people see on the outside, the happy couple, with jobs we enjoy, a beautiful house, a dog in the yard. but we're dying inside, a empty room sits across the hall just waiting for a crib, just waiting for our baby to come home.
I want to be happy again I want my DH to stop looking at me with those sad eyes, I want to make our parents grandparents, we are their only chance at this, both being only children. I want to laugh with my single friends, and have stories to share with my friends with children. I want to get to work on time and be able to do my job w/o thinking about what the RE will tell me in that next dreaded phone call! I want to not resent every women who is pg, I want to be happy for them. I want to be able to listen to them talk about morning sickness, or look at their sonogram pics w/o tearing up. I want to decide with my DH its time to start a family, and have our dream come true in one shot, hell I'll settle for a few months!
Is this to much to ask??