I was running super late for work this morning, but had to check Facebook, yes I know I am addicted! Well, I wish I hadn't checked it. There it was clear as day staring me in the face, my first Facebook pg announcement!!! The mom of one of my friends posted I'm going to be a grandma!!
So I grab my stuff rush out the door and head to work, on my way I text my husband "____ is pg :o(" after a little while of not hearing back from him I check my phone and realize that I sent the text to her!!! I wanted to die! I was so embarrassed, not to mention I felt completely awful! I sent her another text apologizing for the mix up and congratulating her. She later texted me back saying that she was mad her mother posted it on Facebook cause it's still early.
I called my mother tonight looking for support, and wanted to tell her what happened in case her mom called my mom. Well as if things couldn't get worse. My mom tells me, "you can't go around runing your friendships everytime they get pg. Its a natrual progression of life Tara!" A natrual progression a life for everyone but me huh mom? Thanks for understanding how hard this is for me. Thanks for being supportive.
My mom is right though who does that? I'll tell you who, a person who has let IF turn them into a crazy person!! I am happy for her, really I am. I would not want anyone to have to go through what I am going through, but it hurts so bad everytime someone gets pg. Its this gut wrenching sick to your stomach feeling. I can be going about my life trying not to let IF break me down and then I get a pg annocuncement and I am paralyzed. It doesn't make it any easier knowing that had my IVF worked we would have been due within weeks of each other. It would have been nice to have someone to go through pg with.
I hate that there is nothing I can do to change this. I hate that no matter what we do we are still infertile.
2 comments:
its turned me crazy too!!!! I did something similar with the txting but I sent to a mutual friend who told the expecting. They both were so mad at me. I thought I was txting my hubby too. I had to "come out" to them. No one exept our moms know were going thru IF.
Aw man. It's normal though. You're happy for them . . . the :( is not that they're pregnant but that you're not.
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