IF has taken a lot away from me in the last 4 years. It has broken my spirit, changed the person I am, and ruined many relationships in my life. I fear IF has started to take its toll on my relationship with DH.
It will be 11 years in March that we have been together, I was 18 when I met him. We have grown up together. We were always a fun couple, we enjoyed going places together, spending time together, doing lil romantic things from time to time. I always thought we were just an average couple. We will be married for 5 years in June, 4 of those years have been spent dealing with IF and we have had 5 m/c's. Thats more then the average couple has to deal with in their first 5 years of marriage. But for better or for worse right?? Don't get me wrong we have had our fair share of ups and downs, but we have never had a down like this. I can only hope that we can find it in ourselves to get through this together, and once we are on the other side we can look back at this time as the most difficult time in our marriage. I hope we can come out of this stronger, more united. Marriage is work, you have to work at it everyday, but between working on keeping our relationship solid, dealing with IF and the financial hardships that come with it, and struggling to get myself out of bed each day, I worry if its possible to come out of this together. Sometimes I question If I should continue with treatments...what if its more then the IF, what if we can't recover from this blow, what if we do get pg but it doesn't get better, did I really go through all of this to be a single parent? What if we are broken and can't be fixed? Worse what if we don't want to be fixed?
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