10lbs!!!

I have been dieting since January 1st, as of this morning I was down 10lbs, and yesterday I had to go buy a belt on my lunch to keep my pants from falling down!!

I'm so super excited and it's getting easier!!

Aunt Flo where are you??

When I was younger I hated getting my period every month, I cursed her out each month. Then when we started TTC every time she would show her face I would fall apart knowing that another month had gone by and we weren't pg. I never thought I would be excited to get my period or even be waiting for it, but once we sought the help of an RE I found myself anxiously awaiting her arrival every month, waiting for her to show her face so we could move forward with our treatments.

Well here we are waiting to start a new cycle and of course she is no where to be found. I went to the RE, they did b/w and an u/s. It looks like I am not going to get a period anytime soon, so I can start Provera. YAY!!!! Yep, now I am taking meds to bring her on, and to top it all off I am thrilled about it lol!

So I am on day 2 of Provera, now we just wait for her arrival! I have to have a saline u/s done, then I can start bcp's and get going with this cycle!!!

For Better or for Worse

IF has taken a lot away from me in the last 4 years. It has broken my spirit, changed the person I am, and ruined many relationships in my life. I fear IF has started to take its toll on my relationship with DH.
It will be 11 years in March that we have been together, I was 18 when I met him. We have grown up together. We were always a fun couple, we enjoyed going places together, spending time together, doing lil romantic things from time to time. I always thought we were just an average couple. We will be married for 5 years in June, 4 of those years have been spent dealing with IF and we have had 5 m/c's. Thats more then the average couple has to deal with in their first 5 years of marriage. But for better or for worse right?? Don't get me wrong we have had our fair share of ups and downs, but we have never had a down like this. I can only hope that we can find it in ourselves to get through this together, and once we are on the other side we can look back at this time as the most difficult time in our marriage. I hope we can come out of this stronger, more united. Marriage is work, you have to work at it everyday, but between working on keeping our relationship solid, dealing with IF and the financial hardships that come with it, and struggling to get myself out of bed each day, I worry if its possible to come out of this together. Sometimes I question If I should continue with treatments...what if its more then the IF, what if we can't recover from this blow, what if we do get pg but it doesn't get better, did I really go through all of this to be a single parent? What if we are broken and can't be fixed? Worse what if we don't want to be fixed?