The start of a New Year!

Well, it's New Year's Eve. I hate this holiday I think it is the worst of all. Another year gone. Its not just because of IF its everything. I think it is just the most depressing holiday. I sit here and watch the ball drop, and think another year gone and what have I done? I am another year older, and have nothing to show for it. Then they go and play Ole Lang sine, oh dear god I mine as well slit my wrists now!!

2008 was not all bad, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a wonderful husband, a super supportive family, great friends that are always there for me whenever I need them. We have a beautiful house, my furbaby Bailey who no matter what loves me and is there to kiss away my tears. We are both fortunate to have our jobs, and health. We got a second opinion which has lead to us finally having a little bit of hope. And yes, we did lose yet another baby, but we are closer to having a healthy full term baby because of it. We have some answers, some hope and that is more then we have had in past years.

Every year we call our families after midnight to wish them a Happy New Year. My mother in law always says the same thing, "This is your Year!" This year I am confident that yes 2009 IS OUR YEAR!!! So here is to a New Year, filled with hope, joy, laughter, and love!

Happy Healthy 2009 to everyone!!

Survived Christmas

Let me start by saying that of all days for Aunt Flo to show her face she chose Christmas eve!! Of course my dr.'s office was closed for Christmas eve, Christmas day, and the day after. Which means I was unable to get my day 3 blood work taken. I did have birth control pills from my last cycle left so I started taking them to cover my basis. I just can't cut a break here!! The good news? I actually survived Christmas!! It took me forever to get into the spirit, my husband put the lights up outside, got the tree decorated, and decorated a lot of the house all because I just couldn't get it together. It killed me to watch him hang the angel ornament on the top of the tree, I bought it the Christmas I had my first Miscarriage. I looked at our first Christmas ornament,and our first Christmas in our new home ornament, it made me sad all I could think is their should be another first Christmas ornament on the tree. I have to thank my husband though, he was amazing, he pulled it together. There would have been no Christmas without him. I did finally get it together, the week before Christmas it suddenly hit me, I am letting IF win! Was I really going to let IF take away this holiday? NO! So then it was a mad rush to get the gifts, send out the cards, wrap, finish decorating, and put together Christmas eve! This might have actually been the first Christmas I didn't cry. Maybe its because I have hope that this next cycle is going to the be THE cycle!! I even told my husband that we won't have to worry about who's house Christmas is at next year cause I will be in the hospital having a baby! We have a phone consultation with the dr. on the 5th, I am hoping we will get the green light and can start our cycle. Fingers crossed that this is it for us!!