It's New Year's Eve-11wks6d

2010 is 3hrs away and I am so excited for it to get here!

I have always hated New Year's...thought it was so depressing, another year gone and nothing to show for it. But not this year! This is the year our baby boy will be born!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy New Year!

The most wonderful sound-11wk5d

Tonight I found his heartbeat with the doppler. I can't believe how much more at ease I am right now. I will never tire of hearing that sound.

I was starting to get worried because most people are able to hear the heartbeat with the doppler between 10-12wks. But tonight I decided that I was going to be patient and search every inch on my uterus until I found it, I was determined! Sure enough I was able to find it. It was like his little way of saying see mom here I am, I'm ok!

I feel so much more comfortable about telling people now, and I will be announcing it on Facebook Thursday at midnight! I will 12wks at that point and feel like it is time to start enjoying this time!

Merry Christmas-11wks1d

Every year I ask for the same thing for Christmas, and it is never anything anyone can give me. All I want for Christmas is a baby! This Christmas I had what I have always wanted and no other gift could come close to the precious gift I have been given.

We are truly blessed to have gotten this far in this pregnancy. I am blessed to have a wonderful Dh and family who have stood by me and supported me through every step of this journey. I have been given a Christmas miracle and I promise that this baby will be loved more then you can imagine!

It was an emotional day, I thought about the fact that my Dh's dad will not have to chance to meet this baby he has sent us. I thought about how every Christmas for the last 4yrs have been filled with anger, sadness, and heartbreak. Most of all I thought about how this year is our last year as just the two of us. That next year we will be celebrating Christmas as a FAMILY!

We celebrated Christmas with Dh's mom. We gave her the same poem we gave my parents and although she had suspected that I might be pg she seemed surprised when she read it. She to cried which made me cry. It is such a scary surreal thing to be telling our families that we will be having a baby. This is all I have wanted forever, and now that we are sitting here it just doesn't feel real. I am excited but still very scared that at any moment this can be ripped away from us.

For today I am Pregnant! Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve-11wks

I had every intention on giving my grandmother the same poem for her Christmas gift, but after talking to my mom last night she expressed all the fears she had in my telling people this early. I got nervous and decided I would wait.

Once we were getting ready to do gifts my mom asked if I had brought it. I told her no, and that she had talked me out of it the night before. She told me I should tell everyone, I am awful with announcements so I wasn't going to just announce it to the whole family. Dh asked if I wanted him to go home and get it but at this point I had decided not to tell anyone. My mom told me I should at least tell my grandmother.

I waited till we were in the family room alone and said, "Grandma I have something I wanted to tell you when no one else is around. We're gonna have a baby!" Her mouth dropped and in walked my uncle and aunt. She didn't have anytime to process it or react, once they left my other aunt and my cousin walked in. I guess my timing wasn't great. When we were getting ready to leave my mom asked her if she wanted to walk us out. She walked us out and asked when, I told her July and explained that it was still early and wasn't ready for the whole family to know. With this my cousins come running out.

I'm a little sad that the moment was ruined and that I let my fears get in the way of making a big announcement and letting the whole family know at once. As my Dh later said when we were home, we are very lucky for each day I am pg. We are even luckier to have the opportunity to be able to spread the news during the holiday season. I just wish that I could push my fears aside and truly enjoy the fact that today I am pg, and I have made it 11 weeks!

Sharing our news-10wk3d

We celebrated Christmas with my parents today since we will be spending Christmas eve with my family and Christmas day with MIL.

I was excited to give my parents their gift, but also very nervous. I knew they would be excited but was also worried that it was still to early. That my mom would still be to worried to be able to enjoy this good news, and as silly as it sounds I was worried that by telling them I was jinxing it in some way.

I printed this poem I found online onto Christmas paper and wrapped it in an empty box.

This Christmas we have a special present to share,
This is a gift that requires extra love and care.
It's not bright and shiny, or wrapped in a bow,
We just know that you'll treasure it and love it so.

You may be wondering where this gift might be,
Since as you can see this box is empty.
Well, you can't play with this present today,
Because it hasn't arrived yet I'm sorry to say.

This gift is special and needs time to grow,
The wait is well worth it we want you to know!
In July your surprise will be ready for you,
Because that is when our baby is due!

When I gave them the box I explained that it was for both of them, but whoever opened it had to read it out loud. My dad was the one to read it because mom would have needed her glasses to read it. I was shaking as he read it, and when he got to the last line he just stopped reading they both started crying and my mom asked if everything was ok. I explained that so far everything looked good and the Dr told us we have a 1% chance of m/c at this point.

I showed them our latest u/s pic, I'm not sure they knew what they were looking at, but I was so glad to be able to share it with them.

I know that they are still worried as I still am, but I think they were happy with thier Christmas present this year.

First OB appointment today-9wk6d

I was worried they weren't going to do an u/s but they did and it was wonderful! We could actually see his head, torso, arms and legs it was amazing! He actually looks like a baby. The Dr said he was very cooperative and we got an amazing picture of him, looks like we have a little ham! We got to see him moving around which was so cool. It was all to much for me to handle!

My friend referred him to me and she loves him, and now I can see why! He is so nice, down to earth, and easy to talk to. He is the only one in the practice so I asked if he would be delivering and he told us he has only missed 2 births in his career. One of which was when he was stuck in NYC during 9/11. That was pretty comforting, I don't want to show up that day to find a total stranger is delivering me.

We really didn't have a lot of questions for him. My Dh asked how to get me to relax and stop worrying. Then he said the most wonderful words, he told us that at this point I have a 1% chance of m/c. Now I know I can easily be that 1% but I felt this huge load lifted from my shoulders. I asked him to please tell my Dh that I can have chocolate and he explained to my Dh that chocolate actually has little to no caffeine in it. So :oP !!! He also told me not to listen to all the advice I am going to get from everyone I meet.

He does want me to go for an NT scan even though we had the PGD so I have to schedule that for 2wks. This is fine with me! Means I get to see the little man again!

I go back for my 2nd OB appt on the 13th. It seems forever away, but I also know it is going to be a very uneventful appt. I am just a normal pg women at this point. But as long as everything continues to go well I'm ok with that!

Had another scare last night-8wk1d

So last night I had another bleeding scare. I called the nurse on call and she explained that bleeding during early pg is common and not to worry unless I was filling a pad in less then an hr. She asked if I was cramping which I wasn't, told me to keep my feet up and drink lots of fluids and come to the office in the morning. I wasn't due to go back till Tuesday, and that was going to be my last appt with the RE.

We went in this morning and everything looked good, the heartbeat was 178 and he is actually starting to look like a baby now not some sort of alien lol. She showed us his head, heartbeat, chest, and little arm buds. Sooo cute! I am so in love with this little guy!

So this was our last appt, I will have to go back again just for blood work, but that was it. It was bittersweet. I have waited so long to be released from my RE, and it is exciting that we have made it this far, but I am also scared. There is this comfort in going in every week and getting bw and an u/s. As I walked out with Dh I said thats probably the last time we will get to see him for awhile. =(

I am looking into buying a doppler so I can listen to the heartbeat at home. I think thats going to be the only thing that gets me through when I don't get to see the OB as often.

Christmas is quickly approaching and I can't wait to tell our parents. For so long the holidays have not been fun or joyus but this year I am so looking forward to them! I still can't beileve that I have been blessed with this little miracle!

So I didn't get released today- 7wk4d

They did bw and an u/s and everything looked good. He's measuring a day behind but the dr said with the measurements he looked great. His heartbeat was 153, so we were very happy with that. He's doesn't look like a blob anymore!

As the Dr was leaving she said we'll see you next week. I said I thought this was our last appt? She said that she thinks they can squeeze another one in as long as insurance doesn't have a problem with it. I of course am totally fine with this, it means I get an extra u/s and who am I to argue lol.

They reduced my PIO and estrace so I will have to go back again the following week just to make sure everything is good off the meds. That's a little scary but all I can do is hope that at this point my body knows what it's doing.